Ai Tenshi Densetsu Weiss Kreuz
by Hecate of the Crossroads
Summary: This is what comes of watching Weiss right after Wedding Peach. Especially if you have a predilection for Terry Pratchett and Eugene Ionesco...


Disclaimer: If I owned Weiss Kreuz and Wedding Peach, I would not would not be writing fanfiction. Why would I need to?

**Author's Note: I recently finished "Wedding Peach" and rewatched some Weiss and decided to update this a bit. I seriously haven't written any fanfiction in years, so…is this a comeback?? And as for where the original story came from…um…you probably don't want to know. Anyway, enjoy! **(Does anyone even write Weiss fics anymore? I feel old…)

"I don't believe that Persia gave us these!" Ken enthused as the four young men known to a few as "Weiss" stood in line at the stadium.

"I think we're all aware of the fact by now, Ken," Yohji yawned, stretching.

"But this is so great!" Ken said, a foolish grin on his face.

"Ken-kun..." Omi said, embarrassment dripping from his voice, "People are staring..."

It was true. In fact, in line ahead of them, a girl with long pink hair pulled back with two bright yellow bows was giving them odd looks. Of course, Omi wasn't sure that she had any right to, seeing as she was apparently talking to her purse.

"Jamapi, I feel something weird here," she was saying.

"Devils?" her purse replied.

Omi blinked.

"Maybe."

The girl glanced at the four boys behind her, crystal blue eyes lighting on Aya's silent, brooding face.

"That guy, the one with the red hair..."

"You may be right, Momoko-chama," the purse said thoughtfully.

"And you thought I was being weird," Ken said, punching Omi's arm as the line moved forward.

"Hey, look at her!" Yohji whistled.

Omi turned to see the latest object of Yohji's fickle post-Asuka affections. It was a tall, slender woman with short blue hair and two odd red marks on her cheeks. She appeared to be scalping tickets.

"I hope she's sitting near us!" Yohji said.

Omi sighed.

The pink-haired girl was talking to her purse again. Omi could see her two bleachers down, chattering away.

"Yeah!" Ken yelled, jumping up.

"Hey, that girl with the pink hair's pretty cute," Yohji remarked, following Omi's gaze. Aya's eye twitched, but he remained silent.

No one was surprised.

"Yosuke! What are you doing here?!" Momoko cried.

"Yanagiba-senpai gave me the ticket," Yosuke replied.

Momoko began a grumpy tirade. Yosuke could have sworn that he heard her purse laughing.

"Yo!" Ken yelled, jumping up. Omi sighed.

"Yohji," Aya said suddenly.

Omi and Yohji turned in surprise to look at the red-head. If Ken noticed that he had spoken, he gave no indication of the fact, totally lost in the thrill of the game as he was. Aya's purple gaze was focused on the pink- haired girl.

"Isn't she a bit young for you?" Aya asked.

Omi hung his head.

Momoko couldn't shake the feeling that there was a devil somewhere about. She glanced uneasily at Yosuke. He looked at her, concern evident on his features.

"Momopi," he asked, "is something wrong?"

"Uh, uh, no, nothing!!" she chirped too quickly.

Yosuke, not being stupid, looked unconvinced, but he turned back to the game.

"Wahoo!" a voice behind them screamed. They turned as one to see a pleasant looking young man three rows back jump to his feet. Momoko was about to turn back around when she saw the squinty eyed red- haired boy that she'd felt so uneasy about earlier. She shuddered inwardly, and quickly looked away. Yosuke noticed and frowned, but said  
nothing.

"Ooohhh, Aya you've got an admirer!" Yohji trilled. Aya looked blankly at his companion, who jerked a thumb in the direction of the pink-tressed girl.

"She keeps lookin' your way, my man," Yohji said with a suggestively raised eyebrow. Aya made no response.

"Yeah baby!" Ken yelled, jumping to his feet.

"Ken-kuuuunn," Omi whined, tugging on his friend's arm, "People are staring!"

Down below, the pink haired girl turned away.

Momoko was REALLY feeling uneasy now. Something was going to happen, she knew it. It occured to her that perhaps calling Yuri and Hinagiku might be a good plan. Maybe they could help her figure out exactly what was wrong here. She stood up. Yosuke threw her a questioning look.

"Bathroom," she said, flushing slightly. He nodded and turned red, quickly looking away. Clutching her purse, Momoko beat a hasty retreat.

"You go girl!" Ken yelled, jumping to his feet.

"They're all men, Ken," Yohji said, "I'm an expert. Trust me. Oh, hey look, there's that hot lady again! Take a good look, Ken," he continued, gesturing towards the blue-haired woman.

"..." said Aya.

"I have to go to the bathroom," Omi said, getting up and practically running away.

No one seemed to notice.

Hinagiku hung up the phone.

"That was Momoko," she said to Yuri, "She feels something weird at the stadium."

"We cannot let her face it alone!" Yuri exclaimed.

"Yanagiba-sempai isn't there. Yosuke showed up instead."

Both girls were silent.

"We gotta go anyway," Hinagiku said after a moment.

Yuri nodded slowly in reluctant agreement.

Momoko hung up the phone slowly. She felt reluctant to turn around...

"Momoko-chama! Aquelda! Aquelda's here! I can feel her!" Jamapi yelled.

Momoko heard a confirming growl from behind her. Swiftly she pulled a mirror out of her bag.

"Wedding Beautiful Flower!!"

Who would have thought that a trip to the bathroom would be so eventful?

Omi had just rounded the corner when he was attacked by a man with disturbingly blank eyes and red streaks on his cheeks.

"Red streaks?" he thought, "Oh! Just like Yohji's girl!"

Regretfully, at this point the man cut off his air supply, and he passed out before coming to any other insightful realizations.

Denwaki was a very happy ojama. He had found this nice strong human to posses and then he'd been able to clobber a second human male. Granted, this second specimen was a little girly, but he wasn't going to be picky. Lady Aquelda would be so pleased with him! He prepared to take possession of his newest catch.

"Stop right there!" a female voice called vibrantly. Denwaki groaned inwardly as he slowly turned around. Yes, there she was - The Legendary Love Angel Wedding Peach. He'd been warned about her.

"On a - " she began.

"Omi's been in the bathroom an awfully long time," a male voice interrupted.

"Yeah, well, I'm only looking for him because it's half-time," a second, very cranky voice put in.

Denwaki and Wedding Peach froze and watched as three young men, almost too bishounen for their own good, rounded the corner.

As the rest of Weiss turned the corner, they rapidly became very confused. The first thing that Aya registered was a young girl in an elaborate wedding dress. Once he got over that shock, he saw that she was facing a man with blank eyes and decorative red lines on his cheeks. Then he saw Omi sprawled on the ground. Aya's eyes flashed.

Someone was about to become a very unhappy and uncomfortable individual.

Wedding Peach had had just about enough of this. All she had wanted was to come and see the soccer game with Yanagiba-sempai, like any normal girl, and what happened? Yosuke showed up, AND Aquelda, AND an ojama, AND these weird guys, one of whom was wearing a midriff!

Damned if she'd let them ruin her day!

"On a beautiful spring day, young girls dream of love!" she yelled, "All they want is quiet, peaceful time to dream and to take that away is unforgivable! I am the Angel of Love, Wedding Peach, and I am totally ticked off! Wedding Change! Oiro Naoshi! Angel Amour Peach!"

Aya stopped his menacing advance and stared. The self-proclaimed "Angel of Love" had risen into the air and was surrounded by a bright pink light. Odd music began to play. After a second she landed again, but now she was wearing a leotard, metal garter, mini-skirt, and high heels. Aya's jaw dropped.

"..." he said.

"Holy..." Yohji breathed.

"Uh..." Ken managed.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed the blank eyed man, "It's a Fighter Angel!!!"

"Uh...he's afraid of her?" Ken asked.

The man began to run, but was stopped by the abrupt appearance of two more girls, garbed similarly to the first.

"The lily is the flower of innocence! By my power, love shall be yours!" cried the one with the long golden-brown hair.

"The daisy is the symbol of purity! My breath will blow away the evil wind!" announced the other, dark brown eyes snapping.

"Daisy!" she yelled.

"Lily!" said the other.

"Ai Tenshi!" they chorused.

It was at this point that Omi woke up.

"Excuse me," a voice said, tapping Angel Lily on the shoulder with what was presumably a part of its associated corporeal form, "but did you just say that the lily is the flower of innocence?"

Angel Lily stared at the young man who was leering at her over his sunglasses. She blinked.

"Because I'm a florist, and I know that the what it symbolizes depends on what variety of lily you're talking about. Some of them -"

Angel Lily did not appreciate the information - after all, Limone-sama didn't have a problem with her speech - and when the odious fellow lay a hand on her armoured shoulder, it was the outside of enough.

"How dare you touch me?!" she screamed, "I'm saving myself for Yanagiba-sempai!"

"Besides, we're tryin' to get rid of this ojama, and you're distractin' us!" Angel Daisy interjected.

She, Lily, and Peach exchanged glances. Angel Lily's hand went to the necklace at her throat.

"Saint Lipliner Lily Rainbow!"

"Hey, Omi, you ok?" Ken asked, crouching next to his apparently stunned friend. Omi's eyes were huge, his jaw slack.

"K-ken-kun..." he stuttered, "are those...those girls wearing what I think they're wearing?"

"Yup," said Ken cheerily.

"And did that one just tie Yohji-kun up in a rainbow that came out of the lipstick she was wearing as a necklace?"

"You got it."

"Ohhh, I was afraid of that..."

Omi's voice trailed off. He was never leaving the flower shop again. That was all there was to it. He would ask one of the others to pot him, and he'd just sit there. No more going outside. It was scary out here.

Ken glanced at his watch.

"Hoo, look at the time! The game's about to start up again!"

He hopped to his feet.

"See ya later, Omi!" he called, trotting off.

Omi closed his eyes. If you listened closely you could hear him muttering "There's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's..."

Aya had quickly adjusted to the admittedly odd situation. He now had a very clear grasp of two things:

A)These girls were dangerous, despite appearances, but they were probably on his side.

B) The other side needed to be taken care of.

Lucky for them he was in the mood for a good butt-whuppin.

A rustle of clothing made Angel Daisy look up from where she was kicking Lily's catch in some sensitive areas. What she saw alarmed her.

"Peach! Lily! Look out!!" she yelled, diving aside. The other two swiftly reacted, then looked to see what they were reacting to. Wedding Peach gasped.

The redhead from before had changed clothes rapidly and unobtrusively, and was now wearing a black trench coat with far too many buckles. He was wielding a katana, and it was aimed at the man currently in the possession of the ojama.

"Takatori shinei!!" he screamed.

"Aya-kun, not everyone is a Takatori," she heard the little girly boy mutter, "Just most of them." She ignored this. There was a more pressing issue at hand: the redhead was going to kill an innocent - quickly she whipped out her mirror and focused on the blank-eyed one - yes, an innocent man whose only fault was having been available for possession!

Enraged, she leapt into action.

"Bridal Kick!"

Even with the vocal accompaniment, Aya missed the approach of the girl who had her foot out ready to knock him down – and out.

She succeeded. There was something to be said for a high heel to the temple.

Wedding Peach stood panting by the sprawled form of the would-be buckled killer.

_ Right_, she thought, _now to take care of the ojama_.

She pulled out her mirror again and trained it on the possessed man.

"Saint Miroir Bridal Flash!" she cried.

And then it was all over.

That was it, he was nuts. That was all there was to it. Omi wasn't even surprised when, after Wedding Peach nailed the weird guy with a blast of pink light, a sparkly staircase tinkled and twinkled its way down from the window and a blonde man appeared.

"Limone-sama!" the Love Angels cried.

"Why are you here now?" Angel Daisy demanded, "We've defeated the ojama!"

Limone-sama smiled beatifically, which sort of made Omi want to use him for target practice.

"You have not yet defeated all of the ojamas present," he said, "Wedding Peach, use your mirror to look into that boy's heart."

And he pointed at Aya.

Yohji actually wasn't terribly upset by the events of his day until he heard Limone's voice. The way he saw it, there were far worse things than being tied up by minimally-clad females, and he had been through most of them. So he was feeling pretty good...until Limone spoke.

It was his voice.

The blonde man had his voice. Well, nobody stole his voice and got away with it!

"Hey!" he yelled, "You stole my voice!"

The Angel turned, eyes wide.

"You...you speak…like me!"

"No, you talk like me!"

Limone frowned and floated over to Yohji's bound form. He studied him, then incredibly began to grin.

"You…you're Yohji!" he cried, "Oh, Aphrodite-sama promised me that I would meet you, and I would know you because I would have your voice! Oh at last, at long last!"

"Uh..." said Yohji.

Sparkly light surrounded Limone, and when it lifted, there was not a man, but a beautiful woman - a woman with short violet hair and a beauty mark on her cheek.

"Asuka!" Yohji cried.

"Oh Yohji-chan!" she exclaimed in her own, dear voice, tears in her eyes, "Yohji-chan, I'm so sorry that I died on you twice! But then Aphrodite-sama found me and promised me that if I helped her to find the Love Angels in the guise of a man with your voice, I would someday find you and be returned to my original form and we could be together forever!"

"Oh, Asuka-chan!" Yohji cried, manfully bursting free of the Lily Rainbow.

"Oh Yohji-chan!"

"Oh - "

At this point they fell into each others' arms and kissed, happily stopping the litany. As they embraced, a warm, golden light with lots of sparkly bits enveloped them, and they vanished from the stadium.

The mother of all uncomfortable silences hung in their wake.

Wedding Peach decided that she had had enough and just wanted to go home. This was all too much for her. So she did as...whoever...had asked and trained her mirror on Aya's unconscious form. Not even bothering to see if there was an ojama, she sighed out the incantation:

"Saint Miroir Bridal Flash."

Then she and the others detransformed.

Aya, meanwhile, opened his eyes. They seemed...larger, less squinty, Omi thought.

And then Aya smiled.

"I feel GREAT!!" he exclaimed, "I feel HAPPY! Omi, gimme a hug!"

Omi scooted away quickly.

"A-a-aya-kun...?"

"Call me Ran, ol' buddy!"

"Uh..."

In a hospital across town, a girl sat up and opened her eyes.

She yawned hugely.

Omi stood unsteadily outside the stadium. The game was over and people were pouring out. Aya, er, Ran, had taken the three girls out for ice cream and for a trip to the hospital to meet his sister, who had just woken up. (Hooray for cell phones.) Omi had declined the invitation. The new Aya would take some getting used to.

"Hey, Omi!"

He turned to see Ken and another brown haired boy walking towards him.

"Omi, this is my new pal Yosuke! He's almost as into soccer as I am! Can you believe it? We're going out for some dinner, so tell the others I'll be late, 'kay?"

"Um, sure," Omi said.

Ken grinned and smacked Omi on the shoulder before swaggering off with his new friend. Omi watched them go in utter bewilderment.

"Hey."

Omi jumped at the feminine voice so close by. He turned his head around and saw the girl with the green hair from before.

"I thought ya looked lost," she said.

"Yeah," Omi mumbled.

"Well, wanna go get some food? My mom won't mind company for dinner."

"Um...thanks. I...I'd like that," Omi said, feeling as if his day had just finally started going the way it should have been all along, "I'd love to."

The girl grinned.

"I'm Hinagiku," she said.

"I'm Omi," he replied.

He offered her his arm, she hit him, and they sauntered off into the post-game crowd.

The End

**Afterward**

Aya-chan having woken up, she and Ran went on to lead happy, normal, Takatori-free lives.

Yuri continued her single-minded pursuit of Yanagiba-senpai. Since they were both basically boring characters, they did eventually fall in love and get married. They lived happily ever after with 2.5 children in a mansion with a white picket fence.

Ken and Yosuke became best friends, and with Ken's coaching, Yosuke became a world famous soccer star. This totally negated the lingering effects of his demonic heritage, and he never turned into Viento. Sadly this also negated the entire second season of "Wedding Peach", but Scarlet was kind of annoying anyway. He and Momoko still ended up together and were very happy. Ken eventually met the girl who moved to Australia whose name I have forgotten, and he too was quite happy.

Omi began to work for Hinagiku's family's flower shop. He rented a room in their house, and whether or not any romance came of it is up to your own imagination.

Yohji and Asuka lived happily ever after.

Don't you think it's about time?


End file.
